Shannon Beahen, Ottawa Xpress
How we die says a lot about how we live
This issue is our first Art of Living special and for it we’ve chosen stories that look at some unique or artful ways some of us choose to live: It may be where we skateboard, where we meet others of the same ideology, or where we drink coffee and wait for genius inspiration to strike. And though the photograph on the cover seems contrary to the theme of the special, it’s not; the way we choose to say goodbye is often reflective of how we’ve chosen to live. (Matt Harrison)
Parked in the laneway beside my house is my fuel-efficient car. On the back seat there’s a yoga mat. On most weekends you’ll find me in my favourite fair-trade coffee shop. Over the years, piercings, tattoos and wildly unnatural hair colours have helped me convey my counterculture leanings that hint at a unique belief system. But while these carefully revealed social cue cards have helped me denote the ways in which I’ve constructed my life, little thought has been put into my death.
Most people prefer not to think about dying, even thought it’s that attitude that an entire industry preys upon. Even the most self-aware rarely thinks about planning for the big sleep. But death is inevitable, and while we may not think much on it, our funerals happen one way or another. And when they do, most of the time how we die says a lot about how we live.
So what does the current North American death ritual say about us?
YOU CAN’T TAKE THAT WHERE YOU’RE GOING
Every activist subculture
has its reference source of choice. The anti-capitalists have The Corporation (2003), the environmentalists have An Inconvenient Truth (2006) and opponents of the North American funeral industry have The American Way of Death. Back in the ’60s, a lone woman named Jessica Mitford took on the funeral industry and single-handedly exposed with a saucy and revealing book their questionable practices of preying on the grief stricken. Her thesis: The unscrupulous business practices of the industry are pressuring us into unnecessary consumerism all the way to the grave.
Elaborate body reconstruction, unnecessary preservation, hermetically sealed caskets, corpse cosmetics - even in death, we’re being sold a fantasy that perpetuates a disconnect that has been fed to us our entire lives. We exist as part of a culture that clings to youth and promotes products that distance us from the natural cycle of life. We fear wrinkles and hair loss while worshipping the 18- to 25-year-old demographic in a delusional effort to stave off death. So it should come as no surprise that as a society accustomed to substituting spending for spirituality, we’re somewhat ill-equipped to deny our tranquilizing retail therapy habits when a loved one dies.
This is partially how the funeral industry justifies its excessive up-sells - by claiming that it’s only giving the public products and services they want. But the question remains: What forces have prompted us to want these superfluities in the first place? As Mitford pointed out, “Does the surviving spouse, for example, go into the funeral establishment and say, ‘I want to be sure my wife is thoroughly disinfected and preserved. Her casket must be both comfortable and eternally durable’?”
DROP THE EM-BALM
At one time it was the family that helped prepare their deceased for burial. But now, hospital curtains close moments after death and the corpse surreptitiously makes its way to the funeral home, not to be seen again until the illusion of life can be imposed back upon it. At what point did we decide that denial of reality was a more favourable way to mourn? And let’s not mistake current convention with tradition. The now-status quo memorial service is very much a recent reflection of a modern industrialized society with an opportunistic eye for profit making that holds little sacred.
The industry turning point likely came about with the advent of embalming. Used as a method to preserve bodies waiting to be shipped home during the American Civil War, embalming opened a door for funeral directors who could charge for a number of new services. As his job description expanded, the funeral director became a stage manager. His star: the corpse. It served as the focal point of the funeral production and was designed to give the illusion of rest. But more importantly, it allowed the family to flaunt its status through a number of products and services. The fancier the coffin, the more abundant the flowers and the better the reconstructive work, the more the family demonstrated how much it cared.
As the control of our death rituals was taken away from spiritual leaders and family members and given to businesses, our feelings of guilt and loss became transactional leverage. According to Mitford, “The cost of the funeral is the third-largest expenditure, after a house and a car, in the life of an ordinary American family.” We already know what our homes and vehicles say about our position within an economically stratified society; it stands to reason that our funerals speak volumes as well.
RECLAIMING MEANING
“The conventional model is inherently flawed and everyone knows it,” says Joe Sehee bluntly. Joe is the founder and executive director of the Green Burial Council. His U.S.-based organization is working to create the first certification program to help the public identify consumer-friendly and eco-conscious burial providers they can trust.
A true green burial bans the use of toxins. That means no embalming. Not only is embalming an unnecessary health precaution, it’s actually unhealthy. According to U.S. statistics, about one million gallons of embalming fluid, which includes formaldehyde, is buried in conventional cemeteries every year. That’s one million gallons of a known carcinogen that could contaminate our water table in the future, and is also an unnecessary work hazard for morticians.
Other characteristics of a green burial include the use of biodegradable encasements, which could involve anything from a simple wooden box (ideally one that doesn’t make use of rare hardwood) to an old-fashioned shroud, and a natural marker like a tree or a rock instead of a landscape-altering tombstone. In the best-case scenario, the burial grounds would be designated as a long-term protected conservation zone. You might think that cremation is a more environmentally friendly alternative, but cremation burns fossil fuels resulting in harmful carbon emissions.
At the moment, there are no natural burial service providers in all of Canada, let alone Ottawa. Shannon Roy of the Natural Burial Council based in Toronto gives his thoughts on why: “Funeral services have become very big business and the market is dominated by a handful of large multinationals who at first glance appear to be operating as small, local family funeral service providers, but behind the scenes they are aggressive marketing and profit-driven organizations […] Provincial laws favour complex business operating requirements which prohibit the average person or organization from being able to utilize or establish natural burial services.”
HUMBLE ENDINGS
It’s comforting to think that your last act on earth will contribute to the cycle of life, but while it may be more ethical, there’s no guarantee that it’s cheaper. In fact, as conventional funeral homes respond to market demand and implement greener practices, costs may even rise. Imagine the field day they’ll have when they can sell you those same elaborate caskets but with new and improved biodegradable upgrades. For those in search of simplicity and dignity at a moderate expense you’ve got a couple of choices, both of which are as elusive as the eco-option.
Not-for-profit funerals remove the conflict-of-interest aspect of going to a salesperson in a time of vulnerability, but can be difficult to source thanks once again to legislation. Your best bet is to contact an approved local transfer service (which can be provided by the funeral homes even though they tend to like bigger budget clients) and use a spiritual leader or civic authority of some kind to oversee the ritual aspect, which you can customize to your liking. The most highly personalized option would be home funerals, which can be thought of in the same way that midwives were 30 years ago. But be warned, there are many forces trying to keep this practice hush-hush. When I asked the Ottawa Memorial Society about a video they had on home funerals, they informed me that they’ve made it their policy not to distribute or discuss it.
What the industry knows and what we have to remember is that talking about it is the first step. And while this article can’t even begin to cover everything, it’s a start. As Mitford once said, “You may not be able to change the world, but at least you can embarrass the guilty.”
For more information, visit www.naturalburial.ca and www.greenburialcouncil.org.